photo credit: nathangibbs via photopin cc
Do you ever find yourself in situations you don’t want to be in? For instance, having to cancel your plans because you let a friend borrow your car to make a quick run to the store and three hours later you are still waiting for your car. Or the classmate who never takes notes but always asks to borrow yours. And lets not forget that co-worker who always tries to push their work off on you. And family… sometimes family can be the absolute worst. When you think about most of the stressful situations we end up in, many of them could have been avoided by saying one little word: No.
An essential part of becoming fabulous is being actively involved in the decisions that affect your life. For a long time, it was hard for me to say no to others. I didn’t want to let them down or I felt guilty about it. It took me years to learn to say no but I finally mastered it and so can you by trying these simple tips.
Know you rights. Understand that you have the right to say no to anything that you don’t want to do.
Practice makes perfect. Role-play saying no or say the word out loud to yourself. Think of different experiences and visualize yourself saying no.
Write it down. If you don’t feel comfortable saying no then send it in an email or text, or say it in a letter or on a note card.
Keep it simple. Not meaning to sound cliché but no means no. You do not have to provide an explanation or excuse.
Avoid saying “Maybe” and “I don’t know.” When you say “maybe” and “I don’t know” you are basically saying “I’m not capable of making a decision and standing by it.” Deep in your heart you know what you answer is. If you need time to make your decision, simply say, “let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.” The most important thing is to not give in to pressure.
In the end, it is your decision so use it wisely. Always remember to stand your ground and let your No’s mean no. In the end, people might become upset with you. But honestly, are you willing to trade in your happiness for theirs? I didn’t think so.
Good lesson! I have always had a problem saying ‘No” to my friends. I love you tips. I am better but still overextend myself:( Just hopping in to let you know that Freedom Fridays is up and running and I would love for you to link up again this week:)
It’s hard saying no to friends and relatives because you don’t want a fight or you don’t want sour feelings. I had the hardest time saying no but sometimes you just need to!! Without boundaries people will walk all over you! I found your blog on Houtz Party and I loved your tips and tricks with using baking soda!!! I followed you here and if you have time, check out my blog too!!
I like this post. I think a lot of women don’t say no enough, because we don’t like the thought of letting people down. Well, that’s my problem anyway!
I wrote a post along these lines recently. I think that No is the hardest thing to say to anyone, let alone people that you care about. I struggle with this daily, and am trying to grow into a person that can set her boundaries and saw no when I have to. It’s a work in progress.
Cheri Oggy says
Wow this is so me! I can’t say no to anyone because I do not want to hurt their feelings! I have been like this all of my life and I am 61 years old.
I had always had a problem with this and being bullied into doing things I don’t want to do. I don’t have the same relationships with these people, if at all because they don’t understand why I am different now. Thank you for sharing this with us.